I was au pair myself in Norway for 2 years and experienced so many beautiful things in this country. Although I worked so hard (even during the weekends), compared to my other fellow au pairs, my host family was so nice and they offered me so many explorations. They brought me to their cabins, introduced me to the Norwegian way of life, allowed me to be very flexible with language courses (plus, giving me so much freedom to choose where I want to study and they never forget to contribute to paying it), and they gave me 100% trust to handle their kids. Even though my relationship with them was quite professional (instead of personal), I was lucky to have a chance to live in Norway and immerse the culture to the fullest. Because of what, because of my host family who understood how au pair should be treated and offered. They indeed had some schedules for me to work on the weekends, but they paid me so well and even paid for my tax (unlike my other fellow au pairs who normally pay their own taxes).
However, it was me. Looking at my experience alone is not enough. I need to open up with my other fellow au pairs' stories who were treated so so so badly! In my circle (around 10 people), only I could stay for 2 years with the same host family. The others, all of them, at least had changed their host family once. Why? It was because their first host families were trash! My fellow au pairs already tried to contact the organizations and agencies that they thought could help them, but what these organizations could do was just give them options to find a new host family as soon as possible. They never really countered the host families on what they were doing and gave them notice. The red flag is, the agencies sometimes didn't blacklist some families who already had problems previously, yet, continue offering them to other au pairs. This circle is never ending and bad families always have a chance to get au pairs immediately.
Even though this program can be beneficial for both au pairs and host families, but the Norwegian system is so weak. The host families always have the power to control au pairs because they act as "a guarantor" for the permit. While the au pairs don't want to leave this country if they get kicked out, they tried to be nice as long as their residence permits are still valid. The result is, they just obey what their host families say even though it hurts them. Also, most of my fellow au pairs were abused verbally and their host families are so bossy.
However, there are so many things to change if this program would be kept. Yet, frankly my 4 fellow ex-au pairs and I strongly agree to shut down this scheme until there are more improvements to the system. My fellow au pairs and I still believe the system can be improved and it would create a new amazing experience in the future! There are some notes from us:
1. Pay attention to the maximum age of the kids that the host family has. The maximum age is 17 years old, which we think, is no longer proper to be called "a kid". They are so independent already and we don't understand why our host families still need us to wash their 18-y-o kids' clothes or clean their bedroom.
2. As a lot of host families are getting spoiled by having au pairs in their houses, there should be a maximum number of years that host families can have au pairs. For instance, a maximum of 4-5 au pairs for the entire 10 years. This would probably make the host families treat their au pairs as nicely as possible as they cannot change au pairs all the time.
1. There should be a maximum age as well for au pair to make their experience as rich as possible in Norway. I started my journey as au pair in Norway when I was 25 years old and I think this was a great age to explore a lot of things. In many countries, they applied a new requirement where they only accept au pairs a maximum of 25, 26, or 27 years old. Why, because they do not want to be seen as a country for the late 20s who just come with another purpose. In the Netherlands, most au pairs in their 29 or 30 are mostly coming for the sake of the residence permit to find a lover after their au pair program. In their late 20s, some au pairs do not have any options anymore but to just stay longer in their host countries. Some of my fellow au pair who are already 30 found difficulty experiencing a lot of things, because they are so afraid to get kicked out by their host families in a sudden.
2. If au pairs are really serious about exchanging the culture, they should be serious as well in attending the language course. Some of my fellow au pairs do not attend the course because they thought there was no need to do so. This is a wrong decision since the host families pay for that. The host family needs to support their au pair in learning Norwegian and put this a priority as well.
On the bottom line, we truly believe, this program can be kept longer by minimizing the power of host families who can treat the au pairs as they want. Be strict, Norway. However, we also want to highlight that there were a lot of protests in the past years where people and other organizations wanted to shut down this program so badly. It means, until now, this program has had no better improvement. By shutting down the program in Norway, we believe, other foreign girls/boys who want to be au pair wouldn't miss their chance anyway. There are so many countries in Europe that are still open. Also, for the host families who need somebody to take care of their kids, there are so many local and international students in Norway who can contribute to being freelance nannies/cleaners with better pay, without being freely abused.
However, it was me. Looking at my experience alone is not enough. I need to open up with my other fellow au pairs' stories who were treated so so so badly! In my circle (around 10 people), only I could stay for 2 years with the same host family. The others, all of them, at least had changed their host family once. Why? It was because their first host families were trash! My fellow au pairs already tried to contact the organizations and agencies that they thought could help them, but what these organizations could do was just give them options to find a new host family as soon as possible. They never really countered the host families on what they were doing and gave them notice. The red flag is, the agencies sometimes didn't blacklist some families who already had problems previously, yet, continue offering them to other au pairs. This circle is never ending and bad families always have a chance to get au pairs immediately.
Even though this program can be beneficial for both au pairs and host families, but the Norwegian system is so weak. The host families always have the power to control au pairs because they act as "a guarantor" for the permit. While the au pairs don't want to leave this country if they get kicked out, they tried to be nice as long as their residence permits are still valid. The result is, they just obey what their host families say even though it hurts them. Also, most of my fellow au pairs were abused verbally and their host families are so bossy.
However, there are so many things to change if this program would be kept. Yet, frankly my 4 fellow ex-au pairs and I strongly agree to shut down this scheme until there are more improvements to the system. My fellow au pairs and I still believe the system can be improved and it would create a new amazing experience in the future! There are some notes from us:
1. Pay attention to the maximum age of the kids that the host family has. The maximum age is 17 years old, which we think, is no longer proper to be called "a kid". They are so independent already and we don't understand why our host families still need us to wash their 18-y-o kids' clothes or clean their bedroom.
2. As a lot of host families are getting spoiled by having au pairs in their houses, there should be a maximum number of years that host families can have au pairs. For instance, a maximum of 4-5 au pairs for the entire 10 years. This would probably make the host families treat their au pairs as nicely as possible as they cannot change au pairs all the time.
1. There should be a maximum age as well for au pair to make their experience as rich as possible in Norway. I started my journey as au pair in Norway when I was 25 years old and I think this was a great age to explore a lot of things. In many countries, they applied a new requirement where they only accept au pairs a maximum of 25, 26, or 27 years old. Why, because they do not want to be seen as a country for the late 20s who just come with another purpose. In the Netherlands, most au pairs in their 29 or 30 are mostly coming for the sake of the residence permit to find a lover after their au pair program. In their late 20s, some au pairs do not have any options anymore but to just stay longer in their host countries. Some of my fellow au pair who are already 30 found difficulty experiencing a lot of things, because they are so afraid to get kicked out by their host families in a sudden.
2. If au pairs are really serious about exchanging the culture, they should be serious as well in attending the language course. Some of my fellow au pairs do not attend the course because they thought there was no need to do so. This is a wrong decision since the host families pay for that. The host family needs to support their au pair in learning Norwegian and put this a priority as well.
On the bottom line, we truly believe, this program can be kept longer by minimizing the power of host families who can treat the au pairs as they want. Be strict, Norway. However, we also want to highlight that there were a lot of protests in the past years where people and other organizations wanted to shut down this program so badly. It means, until now, this program has had no better improvement. By shutting down the program in Norway, we believe, other foreign girls/boys who want to be au pair wouldn't miss their chance anyway. There are so many countries in Europe that are still open. Also, for the host families who need somebody to take care of their kids, there are so many local and international students in Norway who can contribute to being freelance nannies/cleaners with better pay, without being freely abused.